MAN KILLS IMAGINARY FRIEND, TURNS SELF IN, TAKES WORLD'S SADDEST MUG SHOT

Welcome to our Community
Wanting to join the rest of our members? Feel free to Sign Up today.
Sign up

jason73

Auslander Raus
First 100
Jan 15, 2015
78,720
144,677
Here you have another reason why drugs are bad, kids: you end up killing your imaginary friend and then demand the death penalty, which is exactly what one Florida man did.



Geoff Gaylord walked into a Jacksonville Sheriff's Office and confessed to his crime: he had repeatedly stabbed his friend "Mr. Happy" with a kitchen knife, cut up Mr. Happy with a hatchet, and buried him in his backyard. Let me remind you again that this occurred in Florida, so perhaps it should come as a surprise to no one.

Gaylord and Mr. Happy were friends for seven years but, according to Gaylord, he killed him for a few reasons:

"He left his empty vodka bottles all over the kitchen... never picked up his empty cocaine baggies...He messed up my apartment to the point where I just couldn't get it clean...Before Hap started doing drugs and acting weird he was my BFF...We'd go dancing, play on the children's park equipment, both huge fans of doom metal – listened to it for hours with the lights turned off."

When Mr. Happy crashed Gaylord's car, and Gaylord got arrested instead, Gaylord had had enough.

"That drunk driving incident I got unfairly blamed for and just how messy he had become put me over the edge and I murdered him."

Gaylord was eventually taken into custody when he threatened police for not giving him the death penalty. Police found drug paraphernalia and a machine gun in Gaylord's house, and was booked on multiple charges.

So much for the BFF bracelets these two exchanged.
 

ThatOneDude

Commander in @Chief, Dick Army
First 100
Jan 14, 2015
35,368
34,142
I'm gonna need to source article for research purposes
 
P

Punch

Guest
Ok seriously wtf is up with all these crazy ass stories coming out of Florida? o_O
 

Darqnezz

Merkin' fools since pre-school
Apr 25, 2015
4,650
7,214
Law enforcement officials are still working my imaginary friends cold case. I was questioned and let go due to the fact that they couldn't find the body. ;)
 

Wild

Zi Nazi
Admin
Dec 31, 2014
96,203
139,954
Feel sorry for people like this. The guy obviously has some mental issues. Instead of arresting him, get him the help he needs. Now what? He'll sit in jail for months, because he probably can't make bail. Will get a 6-12 month sentence. Lose whatever little he has to his name. And get released with no place to live, no way to earn money, and no hope. Think he's crazy now? Wait a year and see what he's capable of.
 

Robbie Hart

All Kamala Voters Are Born Losers, Ha Ha Ha
Feb 13, 2015
52,616
52,912
Feel sorry for people like this. The guy obviously has some mental issues. Instead of arresting him, get him the help he needs. Now what? He'll sit in jail for months, because he probably can't make bail. Will get a 6-12 month sentence. Lose whatever little he has to his name. And get released with no place to live, no way to earn money, and no hope. Think he's crazy now? Wait a year and see what he's capable of.
Valid point, he needs fuc-ing help not hardship
 

sparkuri

Pulse on the finger of The Community
First 100
Jan 16, 2015
40,806
53,902
Machine gun?

That's not a term thrown around.

Simple solution:
Give him a bunch of cocaine and vodka?