General Help with Abstract

[regular john]

I have to submit this short scientific article for my master's degree class and it requires an abstract translation. I did it myself but you first language english speakers can provide great help.

Please take a look and tell me if you can understand clearly what it is about and if there's anything that sounds weird. Thanks!

"This reports aims to analyze and intervene on the infrastructure problems of an university library in the time period when the author worked in that unit. The problems are documented in the System of Service Control of the infrastructure unit of the institution at hand, which registers the requests of repairs and maintenance in the appliances and physical installations of the library. Bibliographic research was made throughout online database, from where was established a theorical referential about the subject, approaching library management, university performance and infrastructure. The objective is to intervene on the documented problems. The method applied was analysis of the service requests and their progress. It was concluded that the problems weren’t solved, and is proposed an enhancement in formal communication between institutional units, resulting in a meaningful discussion about the problems, aiming at their effective solution."

 

[member 3289]

Intervene sounds strange, but I don't know the subject matter.

All in all it seems too wordy for an abstract.

 

[regular john]

Intervene sounds strange, but I don't know the subject matter.

All in all it seems too wordy for an abstract.

Thanks. I don't like the word either, but the subject is "intervention on infrastructure problems of an university library" so I had to use it. it sounds ugly.

The abstract must be 100-300 words.

 

[Deleted member 1]

"This reports aims to analyze and intervene on the infrastructure problems of an university library in the time period when the author worked in that unit. The problems are documented in the System of Service Control of the infrastructure unit of the institution at hand, which registers the requests of repairs and maintenance in the appliances and physical installations of the library. Bibliographic research was made throughout online database, from where was established a theorical referential about the subject, approaching library management, university performance and infrastructure. The objective is to intervene on the documented problems. The method applied was analysis of the service requests and their progress. It was concluded that the problems weren’t solved, and is proposed an enhancement in formal communication between institutional units, resulting in a meaningful discussion about the problems, aiming at their effective solution.

Be less equivocal...

This reports analyzes infrastructure problems and potential interventions (DID YOU DO AN INTERVENTION?) of a NAME OF LIBRARY university library FROM DATE TO DATE....etc.

Organize to about 5 sentences.

What
Why
Method
Outcome
Conclusion

I am having a hard time understanding or I would rewrite for you.


Just brief example of how this should structured...

This study evaluates the efficacy of maintenance interventions at jim bob university library from march 2012 through may 2016. The library maintenance database held 24,256 records. Inclusion criteria included student requests during that period. Exclusion criteria was records that have no outcome logged. A total of 22,004 records were then studied. Using a logistic regression analyses, there was a significant increase in deaths found when @conor mcgregor nut hugger performed the worked (p=<0.05). Limitations of the study include that jim bob isn't even a real university. The authors suggest increase training of relevant staff in areas of porn, pr0n, and pr0no. Further studies are recommended to delineate cause and effect of the boob graffiti found on the fourth floor.

 

[Qat]

Seems like a rough draft.
reports
theoretical
weren’'t

What do you want to say with intervene? You analyze and then what is the next step? Proposals for solutions come later, if I understand correctly, what happens in between?
The whole sentence with throughout/approaching in it makes little sense to me, and sounds bad as well. Several other problems.

I'd advise making a list of notes with simple words of what you want to say, use those 5 questions @Splinty gave you to organize it, and then make it into a feasible text. Throw this one away.

 

[Yossarian]

Punctuation (use of commas), sentence structure. Don't forget the details. Great advice given by the gang, good luck.

 

[regular john]

Be less equivocal...

This reports analyzes infrastructure problems and potential interventions (DID YOU DO AN INTERVENTION?) of a NAME OF LIBRARY university library FROM DATE TO DATE....etc.

Organize to about 5 sentences.

What
Why
Method
Outcome
Conclusion

I am having a hard time understanding or I would rewrite for you.


Just brief example of how this should structured...

This study evaluates the efficacy of maintenance interventions at jim bob university library from march 2012 through may 2016. The library maintenance database held 24,256 records. Inclusion criteria included student requests during that period. Exclusion criteria was records that have no outcome logged. A total of 22,004 records were then studied. Using a logistic regression analyses, there was a significant increase in deaths found when @conor mcgregor nut hugger performed the worked (p=<0.05). Limitations of the study include that jim bob isn't even a real university. The authors suggest increase training of relevant staff in areas of porn, pr0n, and pr0no. Further studies are recommended to delineate cause and effect of the boob graffiti found on the fourth floor.

Thanks Doc, this was extremely helpful.

I haven't actually done anything other than analyze data and propose an intervention (just looked up "intervention" on thefreedictionary.com, maybe it's not the best word to use here but I'm stuck with it because of the original in my own language, "intervenção");

It is not a full scientific article that includes methodology per se like logistic regression and such, we didn't even study it in depth yet. it's a "technical report" (again, this is a direct translation, maybe not very accurate); the main goal is to "propose an intervention or tell the tale of a previous intervention in the workplace".

I'll rewrite this shit.

 

[regular john]

Seems like a rough draft.
reports
theoretical
weren’'t

What do you want to say with intervene? You analyze and then what is the next step? Proposals for solutions come later, if I understand correctly, what happens in between?
The whole sentence with throughout/approaching in it makes little sense to me, and sounds bad as well. Several other problems.

I'd advise making a list of notes with simple words of what you want to say, use those 5 questions @Splinty gave you to organize it, and then make it into a feasible text. Throw this one away.

I'm thinking of an alternative for "intervention/intervene" but the original word in portuguese is "intervenção" so I'm kinda stuck. It is analysis and proposal. I haven't actually done anything. (*thinking of Bunny Colvin in The Wire Season Four last episode)

 

[Deleted member 1]

It is not a full scientific article that includes methodology per se like logistic regression and such, we didn't even study it in depth yet. it's a "technical report" (again, this is a direct translation, maybe not very accurate); the main goal is to "propose an intervention or tell the tale

That's perfectly fine research. Identify a problem figure out why the problem exists proposed an intervention a future study needs.


Intervention is a fine scientific word. However do not use intervene. It has other connotations.

 

[regular john]

That's perfectly fine research. Identify a problem figure out why the problem exists proposed an intervention a future study needs.


Intervention is a fine scientific word. However do not use intervene. It has other connotations.

thanks for your input. I keep thinking of the original abstract in portuguese, couldn't make significant changes. I'll revisit this tomorrow with a clear mind.

 

[SC MMA MD]

I agree with the comments above; post the revised version after you tinker with it.

 

[regular john]

That was all very helpful last time. I didn't actually put together a proper revised version due to the deadline. This time I'm trying to make a real acceptable abstract. any help is appreciated:

This study analyzes the process of agenda setting in brazilian government regarding education policy according to the Multiple Streams Theory. The author analyzed the Multiannual Plan 2008-2011 of the federal government, which sets the Education Development Plan as one of the govern’s priorities. The method utilized was analysis of secondary data with the goal of identifying relation between international and national agenda. Goals set by the Multiannual Plan 2008-2011 were analyzed aiming to evaluate government’s activity in education policy. Limitations of the study were the lack of objective goals in education set by the international community. Further studies are recommended to analyze agenda setting in other policies according to the Multiple Streams Theory and other agenda setting theories.