Lifestyle Anyone had a family member move in?

[Le Chat Noir]

Yes, my father for a month after my mother passed.
He felt the need to be there any time I was.
My wife was understanding, but she got sick of us never being able to have a second to ourselves.
We started taking more date nights and running errands.

I would establish rules and set limits early on.

Le Chat Noir

 

[MountainMedic]

Freeloader?

 

[vad]

Years ago my wifes brothers wife called us and asked if her husband, my wifes brother could move in with us for a few months. Came out of nowhere. My response was "why". She had asked for him to stay for the better part of a year and we live several states away from them. He also had some significant health issues and we were just renting at the time. When we asked why and to learn more about what was happening, she kind of flipped out and said nevermind. It was very odd and we never got any information from either of them about what exactly the fuck that was.

 

[CasketCaseZombie]

My wife’s daughter lives with us. Turned 50 last month. She’s had a lot of medical issues throughout her life, and at one point wasn’t expected to live. She’s been pretty good these past few years though, works full-time, helps with groceries and such, and takes care of our dogs if we leave for a few days. Not a bad situation. She’s a pothead (medical) so she’s a little dim at times, but largely keeps to herself when she’s stoned so I don’t get too irritated with it.

 

[Ruprecht]

My experience has been that once you let someone start living with you for free that they never want to leave. And then you are the asshole when you ask them when they are going to leave. Good luck.

 

[Wild]

Yes of course family members can come live with me. they cant bring their pets though unless its as a present to be butchered for dinner. Grandpa and cousins have all lived with me at various times. I dont help drug addicts though.

To be fair, he’s been clean and sober for 2 years. I hated the guy when he was using and wouldn’t invite him into our house if he were today.

 

[Jamie999]

My sister came and lived with us for 6 months when she separated from her husband. They were both addicted to drugs and she wanted to get clean and he didn't. Anyway she was actually great. Wouldn't even take a cracker without asking lol. Not that I care. Anyway she got clean at our place and she's still clean today years later. I wouldn't just write family off immediately because of that shit. Just give them a short leash, that's all.

 

[Wild]

My experience has been that once you let someone start living with you for free that they never want to leave. And then you are the asshole when you ask them when they are going to leave. Good luck.

My BIL has had his own place (although it was a halfway house apartment) and he’s independent. He really doesnt want to move in with us, and he certainly doesn’t want to stay longer than he has to. He just doesn’t have any other options at the moment, besides moving back in with his parents. My wife is the one who talked him into this. So I’m pretty confident he’ll get a house & be out as soon as he can.

 

[Jamie999]

I dont get the people who say you can't get rid of them once they're there.. It's your house tell them to gtfo whenever you decide it's been enough.

 

[Deleted member 276]

I ask because my 34 year old brother-in-law is moving in with us. He's a good dude. I like him a lot. He'd do anything for family. He's just hit some hard times...mostly self-inflicted. He was hooked on drugs for years but got clean & sober 2 years ago. He's been living in a halfway house (his choosing) but was asked to move out. So he's going to move in with our family for 4-6 months, until he can buy a house. He has a good job so saving $ quickly shouldnt be a problem.

We have plenty of space. He's going to take the basement, which is basically an apartment (Family room, bedroom, bathroom, bar area). My wife and I have the main level and our 21 yr old daughter has the upstairs to herself.

May biggest concern is our routine being 'disrupted', if that makes sense. I am hoping it goes well, but you just never know when people who don't normally live together, suddenly do.

My younger brother moved in and didn’t move out for like 5 years…. Be prepared for potential drama to come up from the past. When family stays for a long time, old issues pop up.

 

[Cornhole Champ]

I dont get the people who say you can't get rid of them once they're there.. It's your house tell them to gtfo whenever you decide it's been enough.

If they are receiving mail there and staying over a month they are a tenant even if they don't pay rent and you need to go through the eviction process in most states. Which takes months.

 

[ArodJohns]

I had a rough patch here several years ago. I had to move in with my parents as an adult.

It was one of the worst periods of my life. I never seemed to actually manage to set anything up or even get started because there was always something that just mysteriously happened all while they were exclaiming that I was some terrible piece of crap.

If it came down to my dad, my sister or my aunt staying on my couch or living on the street, I'd spend a good part of my morning pointing and laughing at their bag person routine on the way to work. I don't know that I'd take care of their dogs if they asked.

 

[MountainMedic]

So, make him get a PO box is what I'm hearing here.

The teenager was no problem for me.
He had basically bailed on his parents insanity and on Idaho. When I heard he was back in CO and couch surfing I told his sister to find him and tell him he had room and board at my house.
I was living in my car senior year, I know what that's like and how hard it is to stay in school when nothing makes sense and you just want a job anfmd your own money.
I let him stay through the summer, he worked and saved for college.
Only saw him once again, came up to me on the mountain where I patrolled.
On the board I'd given him.
Didn't suck to see him doing good.

Nobody asked me about the mom, no discussion. She just showed up and my chick didn't see the problem.

It was a problem...

 

[supersonic]

Not yet, but for my family ill always offer a refuge. And it's a two way street, they will do the same for me. We have a benefit of having no real losers in the family so that helps. Sister in law will be moving in probably 5 years from now, stay tuned

 

[Jamie999]

If they are receiving mail there and staying over a month they are a tenant even if they don't pay rent and you need to go through the eviction process in most states. Which takes months.

Lol.. No you don't. Unless you're a total tool and have no idea how to get anything done without involving the police. Btw even legally the rules are different when they're a lodger living with you and they can't squat in those circumstances.

 

[slobonmynog]

My wife's (then gf at the time) parents broke up (he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar). I moved into their house to help them pay the bills at the time.

So I was the family member that moved in. With gf, her mum and her grandmother. 3 generations, never again...

 

[Cornhole Champ]

Lol.. No you don't. Unless you're a total tool and have no idea how to get anything done without involving the police. Btw even legally the rules are different when they're a lodger living with you and they can't squat in those circumstances.

As a former landlord and LEO that had to deal with these bullshit civil complaints I can tell you with 100 percent confidence that is the way it works in this state.

 

[Jamie999]

As a former landlord and LEO that had to deal with these bullshit civil complaints I can tell you with 100 percent confidence that is the way it works in this state.

Im sure legally it varies by state/country. Of course it does. Most places still distinguish legally between evicting a roommate and evicting someone living in a stand alone unit where the landlord doesn't also co-occupy.

Is it possible your particular state doesn't distinguish between the 2 ? I don't know maybe..

Anyway regardless anyone involving the legal system when kicking out their family member sleeping in a spare room is a tool lol. Imagine being that fucking useless in life.

 

[Boltzmann Brain]

My experience has been that once you let someone start living with you for free that they never want to leave. And then you are the asshole when you ask them when they are going to leave. Good luck.

My experience is probably rare. A few years ago my nephew, his wife, and their two kids moved in while their new house was being built. It was only supposed to be for a month but turned into nine months because of set backs. There were no problems at all and I enjoyed having them.

 

[Jesus X]

I would never let anyone even a family member whose an addict move in. It's a disaster waiting to happen!

I actually had to cut off my relatives that had addictions to meth and pills they would always start fights or get arrested for stealing stuff. I could never live with them. Like mitch hedberg said 'I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.' which means an addict will usually relapse.

 

[NiteProwleR]

Brother in law implies married to your sister, lol. Or brother, I shouldn't have assumed.

I always thought it meant the opposite of partner in crime so its OP's duty to help him.

 

[NiteProwleR]

I actually had to cut off my relatives that had addictions to meth and pills they would always start fights or get arrested for stealing stuff. I could never live with them. Like mitch hedberg said 'I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.' which means an addict will usually relapse

Especially if we get a safety net. And the 4-6 months is probably gonna get stretched either way. Good luck, OP.