Society NEED HELP - Tips on being Canadian

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M

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It's pretty simple.

You're from Toronto.

You like Justin Trudeau, but you like his dad Pierre Trudeau better. "Either way, he's a huge improvement over Harper, eh", is what you'll tell people.

You are a die hard Leafs fan. You have a great feeling about the current team. You love Austen Matthews and think Nazim Kadri is finally living up to his potential. "They may even be better than the '93 Leafs with Gilmore, Clarke and Andreychuk, eh", is what you'll tell people.

Trump is a clown, and American's are egotistical and rude. "They got the president they deserve, eh", is what you'll tell people.

Quebec stinks. Quebeccers don't know how to drive and are frightfully rude. "Let them separate, fuck em eh" is what you'll tell people.
Most helpful post thus far. Thank you.
 

Sex Chicken

Exotic Dancer
Sep 8, 2015
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I was out for drinks with a client from Los Angeles. I went up to go to the washroom, and there was a dog laying beside the next table blocking my way so I had to step over him. He heard me say “excuse me” to the dog and it blew his mind.
 

Sex Chicken

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Sep 8, 2015
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Also be careful. The Canadian angle can bite you in the ass. Years ago, I went to New York City for New Years eve. I was at this little bar and I was just shit faced. I see this table of four beautiful women and I decide to approach. The plan was to say something so funny that they fall all over themselves pulling out chairs for me to sit down.

I walk up to the table, ready to clown, then as my mouth opens to say something witty, one of the girls says "Are you Canadian?". I say "Yes", and then in the snarkiest, most sarcastic, cruelest tone she says "Let me guess...You're a funny alcoholic."

This devil woman summed me up in two words and spit it back in my face. What was I supposed to do now? Slur out a lame joke? She caught me so off guard and so vulnerable, that I just said "Yes" and walked away.

New York ate me up and spit me out. Never go to New York.
 

SongExotic2

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Jan 16, 2015
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I was out for drinks with a client from Los Angeles. I went up to go to the washroom, and there was a dog laying beside the next table blocking my way so I had to step over him. He heard me say “excuse me” to the dog and it blew his mind.
What a shit story


Disciplined Galt @Galt would have dragon suplexed that dog
 

SongExotic2

ATM 3 CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. #ASSBLOODS
First 100
Jan 16, 2015
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Also be careful. The Canadian angle can bite you in the ass. Years ago, I went to New York City for New Years eve. I was at this little bar and I was just shit faced. I see this table of four beautiful women and I decide to approach. The plan was to say something so funny that they fall all over themselves pulling out chairs for me to sit down.

I walk up to the table, ready to clown, then as my mouth opens to say something witty, one of the girls says "Are you Canadian?". I say "Yes", and then in the snarkiest, most sarcastic, cruelest tone she says "Let me guess...You're a funny alcoholic."

This devil woman summed me up in two words and spit it back in my face. What was I supposed to do now? Slur out a lame joke? She caught me so off guard and so vulnerable, that I just said "Yes" and walked away.

New York ate me up and spit me out. Never go to New York.
Brutal.

Bitch probably dead from a pork overdose by now tho, so try not to worry about it
 

Sex Chicken

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Sep 8, 2015
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Brutal.

Bitch probably dead from a pork overdose by now tho, so try not to worry about it
It was a brutal take down. I don't know if a drunk Canadian, seduced her with laughter and then wiped his ass with her Duvet, but she was not going to let me start. I have to respect her, it was a surgical strike. A liver kick that shut down my whole body.
 

SongExotic2

ATM 3 CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. #ASSBLOODS
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@conor mcgregor nut hugger I think your best bet is to pretend you're Amish. You're American but off the grid. Give yourself a bowl haircut and wear overalls.
He needs a beard for that I think?

Trouble with beards is they can make you look like a bit of an extremist, not sure it's the look I'd want to take there.
 
M

member 3289

Guest
Went ice skating for the first time last night. Didn't fall once.

I feel half Canadian already...