General The "Dumb Shit I've Done" thread

[MountainMedic]

I'll start- my second season as a Ranger I had a couple days off so me and the dog went backpacking.

I got my boots and socks soaked crossing a creek because I didn't want to take em off and I thought I could hop some rocks and stay dry... didn't work out.

Middle of the day, so I put my boots and socks on a log to dry out a bit and sat against it to eat some lunch and look at a map.

Next thing I know it's dark outside, I fell asleep. In the sun.

I realized that it was my feet burning that woke me up. I sunburnt the shit out of them.

Pulled out my bag and "slept" right there, just completely miserable.

At sun up my feet were so swollen I couldn't get em in my boots and just having socks on was a special hell.

Hiked 5 miles back out in tevas, with chunks of cut up socks around the straps cause it felt like razor blades.

Absolutely brutal hike out. Then I couldn't work for 3 more days until I could get my feet back in my boots.
Rode a desk for a week after that until I could actually walk in my boots.

Pretty fucking embarrassing for a park Ranger, lol. Lessons learned.

 

[IschKabibble]

I once went to throw a can down a storm drain in Florida late at night, and the shadow cast from my arm by the street light hit the drain entrance just right that it looked like something was popping out and coming toward me. I jumped away and said, "It's an alligator!" My friends wouldn't stop laughing at me.

I've done a lot of really, REALLY dumb shit.

 

[NiteProwleR]

Haha, before Tony(brother) passed our last baycation at South Party Island he went off trekking to the beach with my bros and nephews/nieces. He forgot his sandles and comes back with blistered to holy hell feet. First fucking day!

I got some doozies for me I'll tell later.

 

[kvr28]

So around 89 I was working for a lumberyard, the owner had a homemade wooden playhouse in his backyard. He was selling the house and the person buying it wanted it removed. Kind of looked like this.

I told him I would remove it for free, figured I would take it to my grandmothers for the younger grandkids.

So I am on that little right side porch with a pry bar removing the cross section for the swing set. Get it off and shove it off to the side, I'm on my knees proud of myself on the side porch when the porch fell straight to the ground. I didn't think about the fact that the cross beam was supporting the porch as well. Must have dropped 8 feet. Luckily I didn't break my back.

 

[CuddleBug]

I had a really bad clog in my sewer line. In the basement the big sewer pipe ran vertical from the upstairs and then below the floor level it ran straight out of the house to the sewer under the street. The pipe was old cast iron or something and it had a tee on it with a cap for access. I pounded the cap out to get access and tried everything I could to clear out the plugged pipe. The old cap was all bent to hell and I think it was put in with heat, pounded in and sealed with lead or something, so i needed to find a way to plug that access hole again. I got one of the plugs that has a rubber middle and as you tighten the nut it pulls the metal plates on each side together and squeezes tighter and the rubber expands out. I adjusted the plug to the size I thought it should be and put it in the hole to tighten it up and it just fell in. It was like a cartoon where you could hear it falling and it seemed like forever to hear it hit the bottom. My brother in law said the look on my face was the funniest thing he ever saw. So I made the clog a whole lot worse and had to call a professional with a snake that could grind the hell out of the clog that was already there and anything else that might be in there, like for example if some idiot dropped a large 4" metal plug in...

 

[supersonic]

I'll start- my second season as a Ranger I had a couple days off so me and the dog went backpacking.

I got my boots and socks soaked crossing a creek because I didn't want to take em off and I thought I could hop some rocks and stay dry... didn't work out.

Middle of the day, so I put my boots and socks on a log to dry out a bit and sat against it to eat some lunch and look at a map.

Next thing I know it's dark outside, I fell asleep. In the sun.

I realized that it was my feet burning that woke me up. I sunburnt the shit out of them.

Pulled out my bag and "slept" right there, just completely miserable.

At sun up my feet were so swollen I couldn't get em in my boots and just having socks on was a special hell.

Hiked 5 miles back out in tevas, with chunks of cut up socks around the straps cause it felt like razor blades.

Absolutely brutal hike out. Then I couldn't work for 3 more days until I could get my feet back in my boots.
Rode a desk for a week after that until I could actually walk in my boots.

Pretty fucking embarrassing for a park Ranger, lol. Lessons learned.

That's nice and all, but what about the dog?

 

[MountainMedic]

That's nice and all, but what about the dog?

He was fine, lol
He did hike out with more in his pack than he hiked in with though. Fair trade for getting 4 meals all at once for breakfast while I numbed my feet in the creek.

 

[MountainMedic]

That dog was a beast of a malamute.
He carried a full case of beer in on one trip, plus his food. 110lbs of zero fucks.
When I lived in Truckee he'd be gon in the Forrest for days and then show up with a hind quarter for us.

One time like 30 of us wanted to camp on an island in the middle of a lake. 2 canoes, ended up closer to 50 people.
That dog spent like 4 hrs straight escorting the canoes back and forth, never got out of the water.

 

[kvr28]

I had a really bad clog in my sewer line. In the basement the big sewer pipe ran vertical from the upstairs and then below the floor level it ran straight out of the house to the sewer under the street. The pipe was old cast iron or something and it had a tee on it with a cap for access. I pounded the cap out to get access and tried everything I could to clear out the plugged pipe. The old cap was all bent to hell and I think it was put in with heat, pounded in and sealed with lead or something, so i needed to find a way to plug that access hole again. I got one of the plugs that has a rubber middle and as you tighten the nut it pulls the metal plates on each side together and squeezes tighter and the rubber expands out. I adjusted the plug to the size I thought it should be and put it in the hole to tighten it up and it just fell in. It was like a cartoon where you could hear it falling and it seemed like forever to hear it hit the bottom. My brother in law said the look on my face was the funniest thing he ever saw. So I made the clog a whole lot worse and had to call a professional with a snake that could grind the hell out of the clog that was already there and anything else that might be in there, like for example if some idiot dropped a large 4" metal plug in...

Lol, been there with cast iron

 

[kvr28]

I highly recommend not hopping out of the car filled with underage friends with a trunk full of beer in a buffalo blizzard when two black cops pull you over for driving down the wrong way down a one way street in the ghetto to try and tell them what happened.

I also recommend that you not tell your father that you weren't leaving town with his car in said blizzard that is 45 miles away from buffalo, you were just going to hang out with friends.

I also don't recommend dancing in the middle of the parking lot we were able to push the car into for funky cold medina. That's when the gangbangers showed up with rifles.

I thought I was gonna die that night twice.

The front strut on the car broke and we lost steering. That was a long bus ride home at 5 am, I literally got in the door, laid on the couch. I heard my dad headed out the front door to go to work, came back in 5 seconds later. Where the fuck is my car.

Lol the cops actually came back to check on us and we told them about the gang bangers. They replied why don't you just call your parents. The youngest who was 15 said, I can't my dad is a minister and we told him we were going to all night bowling in rochester.

They started laughing and said you better started praying Jack and left.

I still think that insane night would make a great movie.

 

[supersonic]

That dog was a beast of a malamute.
He carried a full case of beer in on one trip, plus his food. 110lbs of zero fucks.
When I lived in Truckee he'd be gon in the Forrest for days and then show up with a hind quarter for us.

One time like 30 of us wanted to camp on an island in the middle of a lake. 2 canoes, ended up closer to 50 people.
That dog spent like 4 hrs straight escorting the canoes back and forth, never got out of the water.

I read this and look at my dog and shake my head in disappointment.

Also, this thread could have some legs

 

[NotBanjaxo]

The kitchen sink wasn't draining properly. I figured that it must be some crap lodged in the u-bend (sometimes called a trap?) just below the plughole.

I cleared out the cupboard under the sink, then put a bowl under the u-bend, and took it apart. Sure enough, there was some crud stuck in there that was causing it to drain slowly.

I needed to get rid of the dirty water & crud mix in the bowl, so what did I do, in my infinite wisdom? Yep I poured it into the sink.

That same sink that now didn't have a u-bend on it.

I'm a moron.

 

[kvr28]

The kitchen sink wasn't draining properly. I figured that it must be some crap lodged in the u-bend (sometimes called a trap?) just below the plughole.

I cleared out the cupboard under the sink, then put a bowl under the u-bend, and took it apart. Sure enough, there was some crud stuck in there that was causing it to drain slowly.

I needed to get rid of the dirty water & crud mix in the bowl, so what did I do, in my infinite wisdom? Yep I poured it into the sink.

That same sink that now didn't have a u-bend on it.

I'm a moron.

It's okay buddy, these things happen in plumbing

 

[CuddleBug]

The kitchen sink wasn't draining properly. I figured that it must be some crap lodged in the u-bend (sometimes called a trap?) just below the plughole.

I cleared out the cupboard under the sink, then put a bowl under the u-bend, and took it apart. Sure enough, there was some crud stuck in there that was causing it to drain slowly.

I needed to get rid of the dirty water & crud mix in the bowl, so what did I do, in my infinite wisdom? Yep I poured it into the sink.

That same sink that now didn't have a u-bend on it.

I'm a moron.

LOL, I think a lot of us have done that or something similar.

 

[MountainMedic]

Another Ranger story.
My second day. This was literally years of work to get to my first park.
"Theres some boxes of uniforms on top of that cabinet, go through em and see if anything fits"

I get a step ladder and grab this giant cardboard box, which proceeds to collapse on me. I was getting hit with like 60lbs of brown polyester.
I stumbled back off the step ladder and completely rolled my ankle.

Day 2. Only reason I went to college was to get this job. Went to federal academy for this job.

And none of that shit fit anyway...

John Wayne'd it the next several weeks, it sucked but I was the new guy and you don't complain.

 

[mysticmac]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOAefpxWd6c

 

[Papi Chingon]

After watching Mary Poppins I climbed on top of our roof with an umbrella and stepped off, expecting to float up into the air. Unfortunately it didn't go as expected. Fortunately I lived in a single level home as opposed to a two story, or god forbid, apartment building.

 

[SongExotic2]

Once I referred to my server as Ma'am.


Turns out it was just a really ugly weird dude in a dress.


Oh how I felt foolish.

 

[SongExotic2]

After watching Mary Poppins I climbed on top of our roof with an umbrella and stepped off, expecting to float up into the air. Unfortunately it didn't go as expected. Fortunately I lived in a single level home as opposed to a two story, or god forbid, apartment building.

Try it again

 

[Wiggy]

Got married.

 

[MountainMedic]

After watching Mary Poppins I climbed on top of our roof with an umbrella and stepped off, expecting to float up into the air. Unfortunately it didn't go as expected. Fortunately I lived in a single level home as opposed to a two story, or god forbid, apartment building.

Dude! We used to make so many parachutes! Sheets, trash bags, umbrellas.
ALWAYS convinced that "this time it'll work!"
Never did.

 

[kvr28]

After watching Mary Poppins I climbed on top of our roof with an umbrella and stepped off, expecting to float up into the air. Unfortunately it didn't go as expected. Fortunately I lived in a single level home as opposed to a two story, or god forbid, apartment building.

 

[segfault]

That has to be Russia.

 

[kvr28]

That has to be Russia.

lol, it is

 

[NiteProwleR]

We used to pick the local rednecks' grapefruit fields to hit the highway and pop unsuspecting vehicles with oversized grapefruits with precision hits to the windshields. One night, my buddies and I got extra brave. We stayed in the field and waited to pop passing vehicles instead. Unlimited ammo, unlocked. First vehicle, direct hit 6 ruby reds rained hail on a lowrider. Fist pumps, giggles and high fives were drowned by gun fire. We were hunted in the field for about an hr by a couple of cholos. Their love of their lowrider and sheer disrespect shown towards them fueled their bloodthirst. All our guns were in the truck which was at my buddy's house nearby. Saw a couple of my dudes on their knees praying. Had to shake some sense into them to keep moving. That ended the great grapefruit chucking of 96.